Becoming a mother has been hands down the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I have been pushed far beyond what I thought was ever capable of doing. I’ve come to my breaking point multiple times. But I wouldn’t change a thing. Although motherhood has been the most difficult job I’ve ever had, it has been the most rewarding experience ever. I have been stretched and molded into someone I didn’t know I could be. When Ellie was first born, I didn’t know how to feel, of course I loved her, but I didn’t know her, I was almost scared of her. I was worried if I would be able to raise her, to even keep her alive. My whole world had changed in a day. I remember thinking, “I’m mom, I’m the one that people will give her back to when she’s crying, including my husband, I’m the one that’s supposed to know what to do.” I was so intimidated, I knew nothing! But in motherhood, you learn as you go, you ask for help, you find out what works for YOU and YOUR baby. After a couple of sleepless and tearful nights, I felt like the Lord was reminding me that she is a precious gift from Him. She has been given to specifically PJ and me, NO ONE ELSE. God had seen it fit to give me a child. It was my new job to raise this child with love and grace. To teach her about Jesus and what He has done for her, and to be an example of a Godly woman to her. I’ll continue to mess up and fail, a lot, BUT I will continue to persevere and trust in the Lord. For you mamas out there that are feeling tired or at your breaking point, know this, the Lord of Heaven, the King of Kings, He is by your side. He will never leave you. Lean on Him, ask Him for more patience, more grace, more forgiveness, not only for your children but for yourself and for all those around you. Not everyone has this opportunity and my heart goes out to them; to those who have lost their children, to those who have had miscarriages, and to those who have struggled with infertility. I thank the Lord for this sweet child He has blessed me with and I will do my very best to raise her in the Lord.